


Course Correction

by velocitygrass



Series: Life-Changing Encounters [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stargate, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 15:21:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4484420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney has a midlife crisis and contacts Sam Carter after having turned down the SGC's job offer years before. When they call him back to help during an emergency that threatens the world, he meets Colonel Sheppard. It soon becomes clear that he'll have to make a decision between his old life with his wife, Jennifer, and the SGC and John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Course Correction

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to allofspace for the beta!

What was he doing here?

Rodney looked at the stack of papers on his desk, the meetings in his calendar, the people outside his office who looked at him to solve their every problem.

He knew that the final phase of a project could be tedious, but usually he was looking forward to finally getting it done. This time he only felt that his time was wasted holding everyone's hand so that the project didn't collapse before it was finished.

He'd already done the important work. He'd set the groundwork, made the difficult decisions. This was simply not worthy of his intellect.

It wasn't just that. He looked at his life. The 'friends' that were really more Jennifer's. The routine of sex twice a week, spending Saturdays doing your own things and Sundays together.

He didn't know what had happened to his life. It wasn't bad by any means. On paper it was pretty much perfect. But at some point in the last few years he had begun going through the motions and had somehow never realized it.

He tried to see where he'd gone wrong, but there was no obvious moment. Then he suddenly remembered the interview with the military. A Major Carter had been asked to assess him, and she'd been quite impressed—and hot to boot—but when she refused to tell him the details of the work he was going to do until he signed the NDA he decided that it wasn't worth it. What good was doing groundbreaking work if it would be hidden in some Air Force drawers at the mercy of a general who couldn't tell a watt from a waffle.

Now he wondered if maybe he'd been too quick to reject that offer. On a whim he decided to call Carter. As he went from person to person on the phone, he wondered if he should just hang up and not delve deeper into what had to be an early midlife crisis. But then he was finally connected to _Colonel_ Carter.

"I'm not sure if you remember me," Rodney said. Nobody would ever accuse him of being modest, but it had been a decade since they'd talked, and he was sure an Air Force colonel had better things to do with her time than keeping tabs on people who had made it very clear that they weren't interested in joining the Air Force.

"Oh, I remember you all right," Carter said. "There's not many people who impress me enough that I still look up their work every now and then even though they felt it appropriate to compliment specific parts of my anatomy during their interview."

Right, there'd been that. "So you've kept up with my work?" Rodney asked, focusing on that encouraging detail.

"I wouldn't say that, but I've skimmed your papers and the bigger projects you've been working on. I know that your latest project isn't finished yet," she said.

"Yes," Rodney confirmed. "I only called... I've been wondering if your offer still stands. I mean, telling me more if I sign an NDA." He wasn't about to sign on to something else without knowing what it was. Not to mention that he had his current project to finish—and Jennifer. He briefly questioned what he was really trying to accomplish here. Was it just making sure that he'd made the right decision by not even listening to what they had to offer?

Carter didn't say anything for a long moment. "I'll have to discuss it with some colleagues. If the offer still stands, we'll let you know."

Ouch. Don't call us, we'll call you. It had been a while since he'd heard that answer, and those companies were sure to regret it. It stung that Carter didn't jump on the chance. He hoped it wasn't because of his slightly unprofessional behavior during the interview. "I'm sorry I commented on your...uh, anatomy," he said awkwardly.

"Okay," Carter only said. "I can't make any promises about a job. Goodbye, McKay." She hung up before Rodney could protest that he didn't _need_ a job or anything.

He sighed and took the first piece of paper on his to-do stack.

~~

Three weeks later he'd pretty much forgotten about the phone call. His team was trying to drive him nuts, and the pressure of getting things done by the deadline led them to stupid mistakes.

Rodney contemplated the merits of firing them all when his assistant told him a Colonel Sheppard was there to talk to him.

When Sheppard entered, Rodney's first thought was that this couldn't be regulation hair. His second thought was that he really liked a man in uniform and that he possibly hadn't given that enough consideration before rejecting the Air Force's offer.

Sheppard's eyebrow was raised when Rodney's gaze traveled back up to his face.

"What can I do for you, Colonel?" Rodney asked.

Sheppard snapped out of it and straightened. "Colonel Carter asked me to talk to you. We have...a situation that we would like you to take a look at."

"A situation?" Rodney asked.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss any details with you until you sign a non-disclosure agreement. But Colonel Carter indicated that you'd changed your mind about that, so if you could arrange it, I could take you to Colorado."

"What, right now?" Rodney asked.

"Yes," Sheppard said. Rodney noted the tension in his stance.

"So this is urgent," he said, hoping that Sheppard might give him at least a little bit beyond there being a _situation_.

Sheppard took a breath, "Look. This isn't just urgent, it's important. _Very_ important, if you catch my drift. From what I hear the brass had decided not to bother with you when Carter brought it up, but now we don't have many options left. It's an all hands on deck situation, so if you'd come with me, we can sign the papers on the way and get you up to speed."

The urgency in Sheppard's voice was unmistakable. "I'll have to talk to my boss," Rodney said.

"We can have something arranged. I assume a note from the Secretary of Defense will be enough," Sheppard said.

"All right," Rodney said, getting up. He shouted for one of the senior team members when he left his office. "I'll have to leave for..." He looked at Sheppard for guidance.

"A day or two," Sheppard said.

"Try not to set us back any further," Rodney said. Then he turned to Sheppard. "Let's go," he said. After a moment he added, "Where are we going exactly?"

Sheppard smiled, "I'll take you there myself."

Rodney felt a rush of excitement course through his body. He hadn't felt like this in a long time.

~~

The 'situation' was nothing less than the destruction of Earth at stake.

Rodney was completely overwhelmed by the information Sheppard gave him after he'd signed the NDA. Wormhole travel. Alien species. Space battles.

He could only glimpse at all that before he moved on to their current predicament. Carter and the other scientists at the SGC—a secret Air Force organization—already had a plan, but there was one subsystem that they needed work on where they thought he could help.

It wasn't as complex as the bigger projects he'd led in the last years, but then he'd never been expected to deliver a working solution within a day.

He peppered Sheppard with questions and made copious notes, walking between the back and the cockpit of the small plane.

Sheppard answered as well as he could, but Rodney was glad when they finally arrived at the SGC. Someone there had rigged up a temporary solution for his subsystem, but Rodney quickly tore it apart and began doing it right, flourishing in the energy in the labs.

Sheppard was in and out, gathering information and food for Rodney. He made for a good assistant, Rodney had to admit, not really wondering why a Colonel was assigned to this job. Maybe right now, this was the most useful they could be. It was actually refreshing to know that the military was willing to bow to a scientist if necessary. Maybe this wouldn't be as restricting as he'd feared it would be.

At seven, Sheppard brought him dinner. "If you want to call someone, here's a phone that gets out of the mountain."

"Ah, yes," Rodney said. He'd completely forgotten about Jennifer. He gave her a quick call, letting her know that he was busy and that he'd signed an NDA so he couldn't tell her more. He assured her that he'd be in contact and hopefully back the next day. If they didn't make it, she wouldn't be able to worry about him anyway. He pushed the thought aside and ate while continuing to do everything in his power to make sure they'd all have a tomorrow.

~~

Rodney felt tense and elated when they were finally ready to put their plan into action. He was looking for Sheppard when they all gathered in the control room. Sheppard hadn't left his side for most of the night and must have disappeared when Rodney had integrated his subsystem with the rest of the work.

"Have you seen Colonel Sheppard?" Rodney asked Sam—ceremony had soon fallen by the wayside as they'd worked together. He didn't want to make a fuss, but it didn't seem like Sheppard to just go take a nap right now.

Sam gave him a wide-eyed look. "He's up there," she said, pointing straight up.

"Colonel Sheppard?" General O'Neill asked as if on cue.

"I'm ready, General," Sheppard's voice rang through the control room.

_He's up there._ A cold shower ran over Rodney. John was the one who'd deliver the payload. It wasn't quite a suicide mission, but they simply hadn't had the time to do everything in their power to ensure the pilot was going to survive this.

They started the countdown, and Rodney's mind was reeling. If they messed this up, they were all going to die. If they didn't mess this up, John might still die.

You could have heard a needle drop after John fired. All eyes were on the screen monitoring their enemies. Then they saw the destruction and the crowd started to cheer.

Rodney's eyes were only on the small blip that was John's ship, far too close to the explosion that took out the enemy ships. Sam was tense next to him.

"Colonel Sheppard, do you read?" O'Neill asked.

There was an endless moment of silence until John's voice came through. "You missed some great fireworks down there, sir."

O'Neill grinned. "I hope you took photos," he said.

Next to Rodney, Sam smiled relieved. Rodney felt like he could finally breathe again.

Wow. This was what he'd turned down? The tension of the last hours had been a challenge to say the least. He wouldn't be able to live like this all the time. But he wasn't sure he wanted to live completely without this.

There was a briefing after their success. Everyone was tired, but they kept going until John came through the door.

Rodney's heart skipped a beat at seeing him alive and well in person. John looked as exhausted as Rodney felt, but he still smiled when his eyes caught Rodney's.

Rodney was surprised and smiled back.

"Will this take long?" John asked. "I promised McKay to take him to his hotel."

"We can arrange some—" someone spoke up, but O'Neill interrupted him.

"Sheppard's right. This can wait until tomorrow. You all need your beauty sleep. We'll continue this tomorrow 1100."

Everyone got up, and Rodney went to John. "Uh, you really don't have to do this yourself," he said.

"It's fine," John said with a tired smile.

~~

"Do you know which hotel they booked for you?" John asked on the way. "I left the note at the SGC. Must be more tired than I thought."

"You really don't have to do this," Rodney said. This man had just literally saved everyone on Earth and was playing chauffeur for him.

"Want me to drop you off in the middle of nowhere?" John asked with a smirk.

"Uh," Rodney said.

"Just kidding," John said. "We can call them and ask to find out which hotel they booked. Or..."

"Or..." Rodney prompted.

"Well, it's not too far from my place, and I have a couch. If you'd rather not bother with SGC beaurocracy at 4:00 am, we could—"

"Yes," Rodney said, not even letting him finish.

~~

Rodney woke up to the sound of a coffee machine running. He took in his surroundings and slowly remembered the events of the last day. They'd defeated an armada of alien space ships that had wanted to destroy Earth and then gone to John's place where he'd promptly fallen asleep on the couch.

"It wasn't a dream," he said out loud, as if that would make it seem more real.

"No, it wasn't," John said, coming closer from the kitchen area. "Sorry, I didn't want to wake you."

"Coffee's good," Rodney said. "Bathroom?" he asked.

"Around the corner," John said, pointing in the direction.

Rodney went through his morning business, not bothering with a shower since he didn't have a second set of clothes.

When he came out, coffee was waiting for him at a small breakfast table. He gratefully emptied half the cup in one go.

John smiled over the rim of his own cup. He was wearing a shirt and jeans today. He didn't look any less good than in his uniform.

Rodney dropped his gaze, looking at the breakfast John had prepared.

It still felt unreal to him, like a completely different life. It seemed impossible that they'd take him back today and he'd continue his project and his old life as if nothing had happened.

"We have the briefing at eleven. I'm not sure how long it will take, but I should be able to take you back in time for dinner," John said.

"That's...good," Rodney said. "I should text work...and my wife."

John's smile looked a bit strained. He nodded and got up, busying himself with the fridge and then bringing the coffee pot to refill their cups.

~~

The briefing lasted a few hours, but finally Rodney and John were let go. They hadn't discussed Rodney's future at the SGC though Rodney didn't doubt he could have one if he wanted.

Sam told him she'd be in touch, and then they were off on the flight back.

This time Rodney sat next to John. He didn't know what to say. John had swept into his office the day before and changed _everything_.

But Rodney didn't want to think about the present or future right now. Whatever else happened, he still had this flight with John. "So what do you do at the SGC when you're not sacrificing yourself to save Earth?"

John turned to him and smiled. Then he told Rodney about the SGC teams he'd been on, the times they'd almost died, the technology they'd found but didn't analyse because they didn't have a scientist on the team, and which jello was the best in the mess.

Then they talked about space battles in fiction, somehow turned to comics, and ended up talking about the worst way a teacher had tried to explain something to them.

Rodney was sad when they landed.

"To work or home?" John asked when they approached the car that had been provided for them.

To Rodney the question sounded strange. It was hard to think of his current project as work after what he'd done the day before and the house he shared with Jennifer... Rodney thought back to their breakfast together this morning. It had been a one-time event and didn't have the right to feel more like home than his life, but somehow it did.

"To the lab," he said quietly. He didn't want to risk the chance of Jennifer meeting John.

The drive to the lab was silent. It was as if they both knew they'd soon have to say goodbye.

"Thank you," John said, when he stopped in front of the lab.

"What I did was hardly—"

"I might not have made it without your help," John interrupted him.

Rodney nodded. It was hard to say how big his contribution had ultimately been, but he'd certainly helped. "Thank _you_ ," he said. "At first I thought you made a very good assistant."

John snorted.

Rodney became serious again. "Nobody told me that you...that you'd be the one..." He couldn't finish the sentence, the memory of what could have happened too fresh in his mind.

John swallowed. "Someone has to do it," he said.

Rodney looked at him, wanting to say, "But it doesn't have to be _you_." He realized that he didn't have the right to say that. He hardly knew John. It wasn't as if it would have been _his_ loss.

They sat silently for a moment. Then John got out his wallet and fished out an old cash register receipt. He opened the compartment in front of Rodney and found a pencil. He scribbled a number on the receipt and gave it to Rodney.

"In case you're bored or have questions," John said, not quite looking at Rodney.

Rodney looked at the number reverently. Then he realized they couldn't keep sitting here forever. "I should go," he said, not making a move to leave.

"Yeah," John said regretfully.

Rodney undid his seat belt then turned to John one last time. He drank in the sight as if he'd never see him again. Maybe he wouldn't.

"Goodbye," he finally said.

John only nodded and swallowed.

Rodney got out and went to the lab, forcing himself not to turn back.

~~

Rodney caved after two days. He called John on his way home from work and was grateful when John started talking about his day without asking what Rodney wanted. He wasn't sure he could have answered that question.

They started talking regularly after that. Rodney used the time he spent driving home from work to catch up with John on things that had happened or just chat about this and that.

Sam had called to tell him that they'd discussed where Rodney could work. Rodney said there was time, since he still had his project to finish.

Rodney hadn't been able to tell Jennifer what had happened. She hadn't been happy, but she'd accepted it. He didn't tell her about the potential job offer.

He'd picked his current project in part because she had a good job here, so maybe they could move to Colorado together for _his_ job this time, but Rodney preferred not to think about that discussion. He told himself it was because he didn't even have a concrete offer yet.

But the truth was that his experience in those two days at the SGC was completely separate from his current life and a part of him liked to keep it that way. In the back of his mind he knew what this would mean, but he wasn't yet willing to deal with it.

~~

One day, after John had once again told him about some alien technology, Rodney lamented that as they figured out what to do with him, he might as well get up to speed with the current scientific understanding of the SGC.

Sam had told him they couldn't let this information out of secured areas for someone who wasn't working for them yet.

A few days after that, John asked him, "Are you still interested in reading up on our technology findings?"

"Of course!" Rodney said.

"I've got permission to show it to you if I don't leave you or the documents out of sight," John said. "If you're willing to sacrifice your Saturday or Sunday, we can meet in the middle and you can read up for a few hours until we have to head back."

"That's nearly two hundred fifty miles for you," Rodney pointed out.

"And for you," John answered.

"You'd do that for me?" Rodney asked. He was desperate to get his hands on more information about the technology he'd only glimpsed at when reading the summary about the SGC. John on the other hand no reason at all to spend half of his weekend to do this for Rodney.

"Why not? I'm bored on weekends anyway," John said lightly, but Rodney could see right through him. They'd talked nearly every day for the last weeks. This wasn't just because John was bored. This was... Rodney didn't dare to put a name on what was happening between them. But he couldn't let this chance slide by.

"Saturday?" he asked hopefully.

"Let's find a good place to meet up," John said.

~~

Jennifer frowned, but didn't say anything when he told her that he might be back late that Saturday. Rodney felt grateful for that and slightly guilty though he told himself that he had no reason.

He got up early that Saturday. Rodney wasn't a fan of driving, but he couldn't wait to get his hands on the documents John would bring. And he looked forward to seeing John too.

Half an hour into his drive he decided to call John, and in the end, they talked all the way until Rodney finally caught up with him in the hotel they'd booked.

Rodney felt the irrational need to hug John when he opened the door to their room. He ignored it and instead jumped on what John had brought.

John had ordered them lunch, so he could eat and read at the same time. Rodney took in everything that he read. This was amazing. What he'd seen during their day at the SGC was really only scratching the surface of the different technologies the SGC scientists had encountered or developed.

Every now and then he would look up in awe and see John smiling indulgently at him instead of reading the copy of War and Peace that he'd brought.

Rodney was full of regret when John pointed out that they still needed to drive home.

They ordered dinner and then checked out of the hotel.

"Thank you so much," Rodney said.

John smiled at him. "It was worth it."

Rodney wasn't sure what he meant but felt himself flush. He really couldn't thank John enough for driving all the way only to watch Rodney read mission reports and scientific papers.

"Next Saturday, same time, same place?" John asked.

"If that's okay with you?" Rodney asked. "And I should really pay you for—"

John stopped him before Rodney could get out his wallet. "It's _fine_. You paid for the room and dinner."

"But you didn't really get anything out of it. How far did you get in your novel?" Rodney asked.

"Don't worry about it," John said. "Time to head home."

Rodney nodded and went to his car. This time he only waited until he was out of town to call John.

"Miss me already?" John joked.

"I've got hours to kill," Rodney said dismissively because he couldn't say yes even though it was true.

~~

At some point in the next month Rodney realized that he really only lived for the Saturdays and the phone calls with John.

Work and the time with Jennifer simply passed, sometimes fast, sometimes unbearably slow. But when he talked to John or read up on the SGC documents, he felt the excitement and enjoyment of life. It was an intellectual challenge and an emotional satisfaction that he'd desperately missed.

He still tried not to think about the future and the decision he'd have to make. He'd told Jennifer that his Saturday trips were related to the NDA and the Air Force. He apologized for not being able to tell her more, but he wasn't sure he really regretted it.

She would be excited for him about the scientific revelations, but he wasn't sure what he'd tell her about John. Part of him felt as if he was cheating on her. The last time when their lunch had been delivered and the guy already knew them, it occurred to Rodney that it must look like they were having an affair. Meeting in a hotel every Saturday.

They weren't, of course. John was just a friend doing him a favor. It wasn't cheating when their eyes sometimes locked and held onto a gaze longer than necessary. It wasn't cheating when they lingered at their cars before finally parting, cell phones ready to continue talking right up to their doorsteps.

Rodney hadn't once considered doing anything with John in their hotel room. But he couldn't deny the tension between them whenever they met and sometimes when they talked on the phone.

In the end it was easier not to think about it too closely.

~~

One day, John didn't pick up when Rodney called him on his way home. It had happened before when a mission went longer than expected, so Rodney didn't worry.

Later that evening, he called again from his study. John would probably be back by now. But there was still no answer.

Rodney didn't sleep well that night. He didn't call in the morning because he didn't want to wake John up in case he'd gotten in late at night, but when he still didn't answer that evening, Rodney called Sam.

She wasn't in, but a Dr. Jackson took his call—Rodney vaguely recalled meeting him when he'd been at the SGC—and informed him that John's team had come in hot the day before and that John had been hurt.

"Is he— Will he—" Rodney didn't know how to finish.

"His condition isn't critical anymore," Jackson told him. "Would you like me to go to the infirmary and get his status for you?"

"If you could," Rodney asked.

He was well aware that he had no right to get any information. Jackson didn't even know him.

Rodney waited after Jackson had hung up, promising he'd call back.

Ten minutes later his phone rang. "Yes?" he immediately said.

"I'm fine," he heard John's rough voice.

Rodney nearly collapsed in relief, reminding himself to pay attention to the traffic.

"But I don't think I'll make it this Saturday," John added ruefully.

"But other Saturdays?" Rodney asked. "I mean you'll make a full recovery?"

"Yeah," John said. "I could get out now, but they won't let me go home without someone to make sure I don't faint in the shower or something."

"I could go," Rodney offered without thinking.

"Rodney," John said.

Before he could continue, Rodney said, "I can take a flight to Colorado tonight and take you home."

"But—"

"No but," Rodney said. "I'll take the next flight and a taxi to Cheyenne Mountain. Unless you don't want me to come."

There was a moment of hesitation, then John said, "If you insist."

"I do," Rodney said.

~~

Rodney called Jennifer on the way to the airport. He only told her something had happened that he couldn't talk about. He knew that it was skirting on lying even more than everything else he hadn't told her since he'd met John. But right now he couldn't deal with anything other than worrying about John and seeing with his own eyes that he was okay.

John looked grumpy and tired when Rodney entered the infirmary, but he smiled when he saw Rodney.

The doctor gave him some pills and instructions and then they were off. John was obviously eager to be out of the infirmary.

He was silent on the way to his apartment. Rodney drove.

By the time they arrived, John had dozed off. Rodney helped him up the stairs and into his room. "Can you undress by yourself?" he asked with a flush.

"I'm fine," John said quickly, his gaze anywhere but on Rodney.

Rodney left him alone, only listening for suspicious sounds of a body dropping suddenly, but it didn't come, so he relaxed and settled on the couch.

~~

Rodney woke up to a loud crashing noise and a curse. He got up and found John in the kitchen with a pan on the floor.

"Why aren't you in bed?" Rodney asked.

"Wanted to make breakfast," John said, looking frustrated as he apparently contemplated cleaning up the mess. He was only wearing a shirt and boxers, and Rodney could see several injuries marking his whole body.

"Back to bed," he ordered. "I'll take care of breakfast."

John sighed but obeyed.

Rodney cleaned up the mess then went into the bedroom to ask John what he wanted.

John lay on the bed, legs dangling off the edge, one arm covering his face.

"Are you all right?" Rodney asked.

John removed the arm and sat up, which looked far more laborious than it should. Rodney sat down next to him, putting a hand on his back to support him.

John looked at him. He seemed wary. "You were able to just take a day off like that?" he asked.

"I haven't actually called yet," Rodney realized.

John's eyes widened. "What if they fire you?"

"They won't fire me," Rodney said. "And if they do, I don't really care."

John stared at him. "What about your wife?" he asked, so quietly that Rodney almost couldn't hear it.

Rodney swallowed. This was the moment of truth. "It doesn't matter," he said. "Not as much as you."

"Rodney," John said, obviously considering protesting, so Rodney stopped him before he could. He kissed John.

John hesitated, then returned the kiss, moving his arms around Rodney and falling back on the bed.

God, Rodney had wanted to do this since the first time he'd seen John even if he hadn't wanted to admit it to himself.

But now there was no going back. He pushed John's shirt up, marvelling at the restraint he must have shown every time they'd met in that hotel room. He wanted John so badly, he had no idea how he'd been able to deny himself. John was just as eager. 

It was clumsy and quick. They only managed to push down their boxers, thrusting against each other before they came, but it was still passionate and exciting and amazing.

Later, John would tell him about his conflicting feelings for Rodney, knowing that he was married. Rodney would talk to Jennifer only to find out that she'd seen things falling apart even sooner than he had. He'd tell his boss that the senior team members would have to step up to the plate and take the project over the finish line. And they'd tell the SGC that unfortunately putting Rodney on John's team would be a violation of fraternization rules.

But right now, Rodney only basked in the knowledge that this was exactly how life was supposed to be. He'd never let it go again.


End file.
